Venus and Mars

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing mebecause she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least she knows that I'm smarter than her.

Resignation Letter

Dear Co-Workers and Managers,

As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type "Today is my last day."

For nearly as long as I've worked here, I've hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank all of my managers both past and present but with the exception of the wonderful Saroj Hariprashad: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation, ignorance and intolerance for true talent. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.

Over the past seven years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "meets expectation." That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of meets expectation scotch with a meets expectation cigar. Thanks Trish!

And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.

But to those few souls with whom I've actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:

To Philip Cress, I will not miss hearing you cry over absolutely nothing while laying blame on me and my coworkers. Your racial comments about Joe Cobbinah were truly offensive and I hope that one day you might gain the strength to apologize to him.

To Brenda Ashby whom is long gone, I hope you find a manager that treats you as poorly as you have treated us. I worked harder for you then any manager in my career and I regret every ounce of it. Watching you take credit for my work was truly demoralizing.

To Sylvia Keenan, you should learn how to keep your mouth shut sweet heart. Bad mouthing the innocent is a negative thing, especially when your talking about someone who knows your disgusting secrets. ; )

To Bob Malvin (Mr. Cronyism Jr), well, I wish you had more of a back bone. You threw me to the wolves with that witch Brenda and I learned all too much from it. I still can't believe that after following your instructions, I ended up getting written up, wow. Thanks for the experience buddy, lesson learned.

Don Merritt (Mr. Cronyism Sr), I'm happy that you were let go in the same manner that you have handed down to my dedicated coworkers. Hearing you on the phone last year brag about how great bonuses were going to be for you fellas in upper management because all of the lay offs made me nearly vomit. I never expected to see management benefit financially from the suffering of scores of people but then again, with this company's rooted history in the slave trade it only makes sense.

To all of the executives of this company, Jamie Dimon and such. Despite working through countless managers that practiced unethical behavior, racism, sexism, jealousy and cronyism, I have benefited tremendously by working here and I truly thank you for that. There was once a time where hard work was rewarded and acknowledged, it's a pity that all of our positive output now falls on deaf ears and passes blind eyes. My advice for you is to place yourself closer to the pulse of this company and enjoy the effort and dedication of us "faceless little people" more. There are many great people that are being over worked and mistreated but yet are still loyal not to those who abuse them but to the greater mission of providing excellent customer support. Find them and embrace them as they will help battle the cancerous plague that is ravishing the moral of this company.

So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the lower salary recipient ("because it's good for the company") in India or Tampa who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.

Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.

To those who I have held a great relationship with, I will miss being your co-worker and will cherish our history together. Please don't bother responding as at this very moment I am most likely in my car doing 85 with the windows down listening to Biggie.

One!

Uncaptured Dreams


Confined in the corners of my heart,
Some dreams lie in hope.
Those were nurtured and cultured since ages,
They are the ramblings of my innocent mind.

From childhood to youth i grew,
My dreams became many from few.
They blossomed over my eyes,
My thoughts both old and new.

But now as i move towards maturity,
My innocence feels demure.
"Will my dreams ever come true?",
This insecurity creeps far and more.

Still, everyday when i wake-up,
My eyes add a new vision to my store.
On this day, with a new start,
"My Dreams will come true", I dream this even more.

A Thought...

I for sure don't know your name. I
might never see your face again.
I know not what place you call home,
Whom you love or are all alone.

But was that you,
Whose grandfather and mine,
slogged together to earn a living
in what we today call"The stone age"?

Or , did i see you,
standing third in line,
as i endured boredom
to exercise my polling franchise?

As the tube beamed pictures,
and lights flickered on,
eyes set like me,
on the 8'o clock news
was that feature, your face?

You are not a stranger,
Are you?

Two minutes..

Two minutes of laughter
Happy as a sky lark
Two minutes of grief
Life's all grim and dark

Two minutes of freedom
None can keep you confined
Two minutes of enigma
To baffel a straight mind

Two minutes of solitude
To introspect your life
Two minutes of humility
To wipe out all strife

Two minutes of admiration
And the world's at your feet
Two minutes of silence
When your journey's complete..

Credits: All praises goes to nohe other than my dear friend Suvarna.

Love me toooooo...

“Love, love me too.
You know I love u
I’ll always be true
So, please, love me too”
-Beatles

Nah! I’m not a die-hard Beatles fan, nor can I claim to be an admirer of their kind of music. Infact, the first time I heard them wasn’t more than a fortnight ago, and I still can’t name all four of them. IF they were four!

I would, again, be wrong if I claimed that I fell in love with their songs the moment I heard them. As a matter of fact, their “please, love me too” had me retorting, “How desperate is that?”

Before you jump to conclusions, let me tell you that this is not about the Beatles; this isn’t about their music or about my opinion of them. It’s all about the “Please, love me too”

The thought lingers. Now I can’t really brush off the feelings these ‘oh! So honest’ words bring with them. Think of all those times these words could actually have been spoken and realize that they are perhaps the most difficult ones to say AND the most natural ones to think about.

‘Westlife’ aren’t one bit off-mark when they croon

“I’m too shy to ask
I’m too proud to loose
But sooner or later, I’ve got to choose
And once again, I’m thinking about
Taking the easy way out…”

The number of times your heart screams out, only, your tongue refuses to surrender and words remain unuttered. It’s funny how less often we tell people around us the love we feel for them, fearing a lack of response. It’s perhaps the fear of indifference or maybe just the narrow range of relationships we perceive the term “I love you” as being applicable to.

Then there are instances when this feeling of un-proclaimed love becomes so integral a part of the relationship; you hate to bring it out in the open. There’s this phone call. The voice at the other end says, “Love you!” and the spell is broken, the magic lost! That’s another chapter, of the same story though.

While my mind has been churning out these thoughts, the play list has moved forward and I can catch Paul (or is it George? Dunno which one of them) singing-

“I don’t care too much for money,
Money can’t buy me love…”

Yet again, I can’t but smile at the brutal honesty of their words.

I can visualize a certain female shaking her head and thinking, “Suvarna has gone crazy, she’s writing about LOVE??” and another male nodding in agreement, glad that I’ve come around to his school of thought. Period!

The Beatles continue-

“ All these lonely people,
Where do they come from?”

I think of a connection with the “Please, love me too” thing, or rather the lack of it. What say?

P.S: If you are curious about a certain “someone” in my life after reading this, don’t bother! You are missing the whole point of it.

But anyways,
“Please, love me too”

; )

Credits: The above article has been the brain child of one of my dear friend Suvarna. Would request you to please direct your generous thoughts to this lovely friend of mine :)